Wednesday, March 06, 2013
1. I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.
2. When chemists die, they barium.
3. Jokes about German sausage are wurst.
4. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
5. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
6. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
7. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned in me.
8. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I have never met herbivore.
9. I am reading a book about anti-gravity, I can't put it down.
10. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
By the way, if you like these then you would surely enjoy the 50+ Funniest Quotes.
11. They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type O.
12. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
13. PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
14. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
15. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
16. Energizer Bunny arrested: Charged with battery.
17. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
18. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
19. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
20. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
21. What does a clock do when its hungry? It goes back four seconds.
22. I wondered why baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
23. Broken pencils are pointless.