Friday, February 06, 2009

A Quick Question

A few days back, a friend of mine had send me an email which I decided to share with you. Tomorrow you may get a working woman as your wife, but you should marry her while keeping these facts in mind:

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are; who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements;

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name;

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen;

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain;

One, who is expected to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to, and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her.

One, who is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise;

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

So appreciate "Her" for what she is doing for you. And I think after doing all these for a man, every woman not only deserves, but demands respect. So now comes a quick question that I had asked last year.

Are you man enough to respect a woman?

14 Comment:

Anupama Kondayya said...

The essence of being a woman, at least in India, has been captured perfectly in this post...there will be very few points that a woman will not relate to in this post...and yes a very valid question at the end...who among all the men out there is man enough to realize the worth of a woman?

Thanks for the nice reminder to all women how special they truly are, whether or not it is acknowledged...great post!

Rajtilak Bhattacharjee said...

@Anupama Kondayya : Thank you Anu, I believe even last year you were the first one to comment on Think!.

Hopefully, the Indian men would learn something out of this.

Julia Scissor said...

I can't thank you enough for posting this. I don't see any renaissance happening after people like you and I write about such things. But if it changes the outlook of even one man, at least two lives will be bettered.

Especially in our country, women are either treated as doormats or expected to be (domestic) goddesses. While the former is treated inhumanly, the latter is supposed be superhuman. She's at the receiving end of an inverted bias. She can't be just another human being with feet of clay, with flaws and shortcomings, with quirks and idiosyncrasies- and most importantly - with feelings. And all this towards the woman who loves with her heart, mind and body. And the guys who do these things to their wives or partners may not be brutes or psychos. I have seen guys who ill treat their women be surprisingly kind and considerate towards other people.

Julia Scissor said...

I wrote a lot. I feel so strongly on the issue that I can never express myself rationally. So I never posted about it on my blog. Try submitting the post to some forum where it'll get more exposure.

Rajtilak Bhattacharjee said...

@Julia Scissor : Especially in our country, women are either treated as doormats or expected to be (domestic) goddesses. While the former is treated inhumanly, the latter is supposed be superhuman.

Although the first point is quite right, the second one is wrong. Quoting from my previous work, a woman in India is usually treated as "a house bound unpaid maidservant who will also provide lipservice and sex".

When I asked this very same question last year, some men were so uncomfortable answering it that they labeled me as being a feminist!

Julia Scissor said...

I meant superhuman in the sense that she can't have the drawbacks and limitations of an ordinary human being. To them women are higher beings so they can't be sloppy or make mistakes. They should be able to do everything for everyone in the family.

Rajtilak Bhattacharjee said...

@Julia Scissor : Now I know what you mean. Thanks for pointing out it out to me.

Yes, you are right in saying that woman are expected NOT to make a single mistake in their lives. Because if they do, God save them.

MeMyself_n_I said...

Wow, i thought men who thought this way existed only in the movies or my imagination.

It's really commendable u think this way. :-)

Rajtilak Bhattacharjee said...

@MeMyself_n_I : Reality is way stranger than fiction, and now you believe it all the more, don't you :P

Thank you for you comment.

bondgal_rulz said...

Beautiful post. Every woman deserves to be respected, at least by the man in her life. The trouble starts brewing when women don't respect themselves enough and put up with the crap that their men put them through.

So it's a humble request not only to the men out there but also to the women, please for God's sake, respect yourself.

Rajtilak Bhattacharjee said...

@bondgal_rulz : I understand your point and completely agree to the fact that a woman needs to keep her self-respect, only then would her man respect her.

But you know what, this patriarchal society has suppressed the voice of women for so long that it's a long time before woman can really liberalize themselves.

bondgal_rulz said...

Change - of any kind and in any degree does not come about in a moment. That does not mean that one stops making an effort. It might be a very long time before men and women can actually be said to be equal in the true sense of the word but we need to take action NOW for this dream to come true.

Rajtilak Bhattacharjee said...

@bondgal_rulz : True words indeed. We need to strive harder to make this dream take the shape of reality.

Anusha said...

All this is so true... This post totally sums up the quandry women find themselves in after marriage. I am one of the few lucky ones, who have found 'buddies' in their husbands. But when I look at my friends, not all of them are as fortnate, and live the daily struggle of being perfect in someone else's eyes even though they very much are and the expectations are imperfect.

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