Any professional who works in a Blue Chip company in India would have experienced a real time practical joke played on them. This joke usually translates in the form of “HR initiatives”. It comes as a yearly/bi-yearly/five yearly list of “Dos and Don’ts” with a few bullet points spammed with full vigor on company mails, company walls (not the Facebook wall – the real concrete wall), company intranet, transportation and most evil – as a wall paper on your ancient company monitor!
The most laughed at initiatives often echoes the same ideas
1. Acknowledge top talent.
2. Open conversations with the board and the CXOs (CEO, COO, CFO and those types).
3. 360 degree appraisal.
4. High performers openly announced for others to see.
5. Weekend sports sessions with other people in office (Work Life balance).
6. One part time psychiatrist who rarely gets a visitor.
7. Intranet site with a few CEO snaps (planting trees, watching a fashion show, cutting ribbons), jokes, “How to lose weight” and “How to fill up your appraisal form”.
8. Intranet profile 1: What is your birthday? What is your favorite color? Veg/Non Veg? – A 25 point questionnaire.
9. Intranet profile 2: “Does your boss treat you well?” Usually the boss has a link to his subordinates’ pages – Password tweak and all. Boss is Boss after all. So much for 360 degrees.
Results are usually the top talent which leaves within a year, a few spam mails and hate mails at the CXO level, downright bashing of the below 25 creed and “What do you losers think of yourselves”, unhappy HR which seems to have an attrition problem themselves.
Great Indian HR Trick
[This is a guest post by Kiran S Pillai. Kiran works with a startup, www.lordsofodds.com at Pune. He is an engineer by profession and generally trips on number of things around him. Get a sneak peak of the trip on his Twitter page @kiranspillai. “Marketing” is one word you could get if you ask him too much on what he does at his job. Kiran blogs at Tending to>>east.]