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Monday, February 23, 2009

32 Things To Do When Your ISP Is Down

Humor
Every now and then out ISP seem to drop dead for no reason at all. This list is for things to do during those unimaginable times.

  1. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years.
  2. Re-introduce yourself to your immediate family.
  3. You mean there's something else to do?
  4. Steal WiFi from your neighbor.
  5. Play single player mode.
  6. Get that kidney transplant you've been putting off.
  7. Slit your wrists with broken AOL trial disks.
  8. Start talking to your girlfriend again.
  9. Call friends to see if their ISP is working.
  10. Create your own IM bot to converse with.
  11. Plot out your revenge for the ISP.
  12. Run in circles, screaming hysterically about the end of the world.
  13. Open up the ol' pinging .bat file!
  14. Take a shower and scrape off mold/fern from body.
  15. Go through your web cache to see if you missed anything.
  16. Switch to TV.
  17. Twiddle your thumbs.
  18. Go to the bathroom (of course!).
  19. Hang yourself with network cables.
  20. Load up the zsnes emulator and play chrono trigger and earthbound for hours.
  21. Smack your modem against the wall.
  22. Smash your head on the keyboard until it restores.
  23. Get a black rooster paint a pentacle with his blood and do some invocations.
  24. Go out to buy another pallet of Mountain Dew for the year ahead.
  25. Host a LAN game with hopes of people joining.
  26. Write your lists on paper.
  27. Bet on horses; wake up the gerbil.
  28. Go to Starbucks and Login to T-Mobile.
  29. Pray to the Dark Gods that it will be fixed.
  30. Try dialing in every 10 minutes, just in case its back up.
  31. Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote.
  32. Dial 911.
Update : If you liked this post then I am sure you would also like the 42 Things Real Men Do. It's by Hugh MacLeod of Gapingvoid. Be sure to check it out too.

Had a good laugh? Well, then why don't you make me smile by sharing this on your favorite site using the Add This button below! And you can also subscribe to The Chronicles of R while you are at it. So that you can keep yourself updated about many more laughs like this to come.


27 Comment:

Latest Technology News said...

Haha, that's kind of healthy ideas. You've just brighten my day! Keep your ISP,down!

Btw, if you can include my blog to your blogroll it would be nice, just tell me if you've include it and i'll be including yours too.

Dave said...

Play single player mode!!!!

Arrrgggh...no way. I had to do that when I left Uni and had no internet...oh it was a sad time.

Inam said...

Ha ha ha this one is really funny! yeah, we all get the creeps when the ISP conks off, heh, but this stuff is quite innovative

Shakti said...

At my place it gets down more frequently than 2 years mate, so i'll have to use your list more often :) thanks

usenext said...

So much useful information in this blog. Thanks again! haha... I'm thinking about translating that into German and posting it on my blog, too!

Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Funny, except this list must be from like 1999. Dial in? LOL

TechGeeze said...

Really got funny, I'm circling on your popular posts, but this one got me really laughing. I love this one "Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote.".

RROD said...

You're killing. I read the list 3 time and I laugh each time I read it..
Get that kidney transplant you've been putting off.
This one a winner :)

Anonymous said...

I'll read this the next time my ISP is down :)

(Copying to .doc file...)

lanh said...

Its ironic how internet suppose to bring us to together, but to many it makes them more of a loner

Pure Aromatherapy Oils said...

Thanks to shed light on these useful things. I read your article twice it really makes me laugh. “Call to girlfriend again" is useful tip. To spends the time when ISP is going down. I’ll follow your tip.

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