Monday, December 08, 2008

How Can A Bad Day Turn Into Worse

Hilarious Jokes
Having a bad day? Forgot to smile? Ever thought how worse it could have been? Read ahead and you would know.

A woman walked into a hair salon with her husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"

A woman was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. She was unhappy with the women's type that she had been using. After browsing for several minutes, she was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help her out with something. Without thinking, the woman looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

Two women were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked whether he can be of any help. One of the women replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."

While in line at the bank one afternoon, a toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. Her mother was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. She told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To her horror, the child looked her in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. She mustered up the last of her dignity and walked out of the bank with her daughter in tow. The last thing she heard when the door closed behind her were screams of laughter.

It was the day before Rob's eighteenth birthday. He was living at home, but his parents had gone out for the evening, so he invited his girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As they lay in bed after making love, they heard the telephone ring downstairs. He suggested to his girlfriend that he give her a nude piggyback ride to the phone. Since they didn't want to miss the call, they didn't have time to get dressed. When they got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!". His entire family: aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all his friends
were standing there. Both he and his girlfriend were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in his family has planned a surprise party again.

One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "TAMPAX" for "THUMBTACKS." In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?".

1 Comment:

Tony said...

Old ones but good ones, I get a mental picture every time I read these and just have to laugh. It's the ultimate embarrassing situation.

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