Charulata (2011)

Based on the Bard's Noshto Nirh, Charulata by Agnidev was a stale attempt to recreate the magic that was woven long back by Satyajit Ray, Soumitro and Sharmila Tagore Madhabi. I know it would be foolishness to compare the Charulata of Ray with the Charulata of Chatterjee, but even if we don't, still this story of the bored housewife of the 21st Century can't do justice to the original story.

Charulata is the story of Chaiti Bose, a sex starved, bored housewife of the modern era, who prefers to blame her husband silently for not giving her enough time (or sex) and so unknowingly goes on to have a physical relationship with her brother-in-law, but does not, for once, bothers to talk to her husband about the same or do something about it other than sulk!

Now, the direction was nothing to write home about, there were lot of mistakes that couldn't have been overlooked. Say for example, when the brother-in-law writes to Charu, who is a net friend of his, writes to her about his visit to Calcutta for a "ceminer" it really surprises us because this brother-in-law is supposedly a professor in a university in US of A! In one of the scenes we see Rituparna crying, but after the very next cut we see there is no sign of tears in her eyes!

As for acting, I think both Rituparna as Charulata and Dibyendu Mukherjee as Sanjay, the brother-in-law, would give a tough competition to Daniel Craig in a who-has-the-perfect-poker-face contest. They don't show even a hint of emotion on their faces from the beginning till the end of the movie. Rituparna cannot cry in a single scene without glycerine! Throughout the movie half she has covered her face by her hair, probably because she too has realized lately how ugly she looked. But I must say that Dolon, Kaushik and Arjun were quite brilliant as Keya, Utpal and Bikramjit respectively. Especially Dolon, when she starts revealing her untold secret and the pain associated with it to Rituparna, her tears would have moved the stoniest hearts.

The dialogues were good, except for Dibyendu's dialogues as Amal, which sounded very cliched and neka neka.

The music, along with the songs, were amazing and suited the mood of the story. Rupankar, with his song Ektu Aral, sounded real fresh and somewhat like Nachiketa. Having seen the Bard's name as a lyricist seemed a nice idea, although not an original one.

Overall, a movie not worth the watch. Rather, I would suggest download the Satyajit Ray flick and enjoy it with a hot cuppa!

First Dates - Things That Men Don’t Know About Women

You might think that the cardinal sins of first dates are discussing what went wrong with your last (beautiful) girlfriend, or maybe enthralling your date with the details of your balance transfer credit cards. They are, but there are a few other total non-starters when it comes to first dates, and this list could just save your blushes somewhere down the line.

1. Women hate walking in high heels

Yes, they look lovely, and she’s worn them because she wants to look nice for you. Most men like high heels on a woman, and she’s trying to please. Whether it’s a first date or not, appreciate the effort she’s made, but don’t make her walk too far if you want her to be happy. One of the worst things a girl can hear on a date is, “I thought it would be nice to walk to the restaurant – it’s only twenty minutes away.” A man’s idea of what a twenty-minute walk is tends to be a thirty-minute walk in reality. By then she will be wincing from the blisters. She’ll be gritting her teeth all the way, and if she seems distracted and less than enamored with you en route, it’s probably because she’s concentrating on not crying. From pain. Bad, bad move. If she’s wearing ‘Car to Bar’ shoes, make sure you don’t have far to go, or hail a cab. P.S Women love cabs.

2. Splitting The Bill

If woman insist on splitting the bill on a first date you can be pretty sure she’s not interested. If she lets you pay, you can be sure her radar is still on. She may still not be sure, but she’s open to persuasion that you could be suited. Bill paying is a very primitive mechanism. By picking up the tab you are signalling, on a primitive level, that you can provide, and that you are a successful male. A hunter-gatherer who can be trusted. Women will not be aware of this on any conscious level at all. Nor is she sizing you up as a potential husband. But at a subconscious level, if she allows you to pay the bill it means she has accepted your ‘hunter-gatherer’ offer. If she wants to split the tab, then don’t insist. Take it as a signal she may be distancing herself from you. There is no point in forcing the issue on principle, as she will feel guilty and uncomfortable, as it will be seen as an obligation. Feminist, both male and female may disagree, but it’s just science at the end of the day!

3. She’s Waiting For You To Say She Looks Lovely

This may seem obvious, but it’s amazing how many men stumble at this first date hurdle. What men don’t know about women is that they may well have spent over a week planning for this date. They may have bought a new dress, they may have had their nails done, their hair cut, been to the beautician. It costs a lot of money and a lot of time. Imagine it. Taking a week to prepare for something and the person you meet doesn’t even comment. There is your first knock to her confidence before you have even started. It costs nothing to just acknowledge she’s made an effort. A simple, “Hey, you look lovely!” will do, as she walks in the room. Nothing heavy. You’ll get a smile and she will feel little lift inside. And that’s a great way to start a date. Lots of men don’t do it because they feel self-conscious. Don’t be. It will earn you lots of points, even if you feel strange saying it. Even if you decide there is no chemistry when you meet on a first date, still have the manners to make a comment. It’s only fair.

4. She Wants To Know About You, But Not Too Much…

Women can be great listeners. They can be naturally strong at empathizing and trying to put you at ease on a date. If you are nervous, there is a danger of what is known as ‘over-sharing’ on a first date, which can really ruin it. If you feel you need to fill the silence, and she’s listening in a sympathetic manner it’s easy to fall into this trap, but it is usually a bad tactical error on a first date at least. Over-sharing – talking too much about your personal feelings, childhood, parents, career or therapy sessions can have the effect of stripping you of some of your mystique. There is something unsettling about people who can tell you their most intimate secrets on a first date, because it may suggest that this is the sort of thing you generally share with total strangers, and that the information is not being saved for the one special person in your life to find out themselves. You seem emotionally promiscuous, in short. The feeling that someone is holding back is a powerful motivator to see them again, get to known them. No-one wants to read the last page of a book first. They want to savor each chapter as it unfolds. If you feel yourself falling into this trap, make sure you ask lots of questions about your date too, and encourage a two way conversation in that way.

If some of this advice seems obvious, well, it is. But it is astonishing just how many men fall into these first date traps. There are just as many for women, and maybe you can think of some yourself. But in the meantime, perhaps reflect on whether you have ever committed any of these first date sins.

Women, Please Be Safe!

In the light of the, rather unfortunate, events where a woman was raped in Park Street, Kolkata and 2 girls were raped by 17-18 men in the Betma rape incident, security of women (and men for that matter) have become a serious concern. I know there should be law and order to protect women, but instead of going on a debate about the same I think every woman should be concerned about their own security. After all, its better to be safe than to be sorry. So here are a list of things to remember so that you can be safe, anytime, anywhere.

1. I won't be an hypocrite, like some other people, and say that women should not go for late night parties and to discs and pubs. But should be very careful about befriending someone on their first meet, be it a man, be it a woman.

2. Do not, abso-fucking-lutely DO NOT, divulge your personal details to someone you have met for the first time. Doesn't matter if that person looks like a reincarnate of Mother Teresa or Pope John Paul, remember looks can be deceiving.

3. If you are going for a late night party, or to a disc or a pub, make sure you go in a group. If not, then make sure you arrange for your commute back home well ahead of time. DO NOT ask for lift from that guy you met at the disc, no matter how much he insists.

4. For working women, who spends more than half of their lives in office and have to stay at their workplace till the wee hours in the evening, if you are taking a shuttle make sure you look inside the shuttle first and check the passengers. It might not be a shuttle at all, the people sitting inside might not be passengers at all.

5. Try and take a window seat in a shuttle that's not empty. Try to take the seat behind the driver. That way, even if the driver tries to catch you off-guard by suddenly hitting the breaks, he would have to turn all the way around to get hold of you.

6. Do not be over-confident and become a fool.

7. Try and carry a mace pepper gun or a mace spray in your hand bag. Make sure its easily accessible considering the fact that's its very difficult to find something inside a woman's bag when required.

8. Do not post your personal details like you address, phone number, on social networking sites. It becomes very easy to stalk you with those details in hand. Even if you do post those details, change the setting so that those details are only viewable by your friends and only friends and not even by your friend's friends.

9. DO NOT befriend random people on social networking sites or in real life no matter how charming they might sound.

10. Keep your emergency number on speed dial.

11. I read about this in a magazine called Sananda and the idea seemed quite alright. Practice screaming. When at home, put a pillow on your face and scream as loudly as possible. If you have a boyfriend, or a husband, you do not need to put a pillow on your face.

12. DO NOT ask for lift from unknown cars unless its abso-fucking-lutely necessary. In that case make sure you call up someone and give that person the details of the cab over phone so that the driver can hear you and doesn't think about trying something hanky-panky even if he had it in mind.

13. Be concerned about your own security, remember that someone is waiting for you at home. Play safe.

If you have some other points to add, please do by all means.

50+ Funny Marriage Quotes

Here are some 50+ funniest marriage quotes that I have collected over the internet. Hope you would enjoy reading them as much as I did.

"Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts" -Jeff Foxworthy

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." -Groucho Marx

"The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once." -H.V. Prochnow

"I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it." -Lyndon B. Johnson

"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't." -Unknown

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." -Rodney Dangerfield

"Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot." -Minnie Pearl

"Behind every great man there is a surprised woman." -Maryon Pearson

"They say love is blind and marriage is an institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet." -Mae West

"Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too." -H.L. Mencken

"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished." -Zsa Zsa Gabor

For 50+ funniest quotes ever click here.

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." -Rodney Dangerfield

"No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single." -H.L. Mencken

"A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers." -Grace Hansen

"If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family." -Lawrence Housman

"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women." -Marion Smith

Remember Mitch Hedberg, click here if you wanna burst out laughing reading Mitch Hedberg quotes.

"Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?" -Barbra Streisand

"My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot." -Armistead Maupin

"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery." -Erma Bombeck

"I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married." -Lewis Grizzard

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." -James Holt McGavran

"All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble." -Raymond Hull

"The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution." -Bertrand Russell

"A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted" -Helen Rowland

"Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give." -Cass Daley

"Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join." -Elbert Hubbard

"The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open." -Groucho Marx

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means." -Henny Youngman

"When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife." -Prince Philip

"I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid." -Dorothy Parker

"When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one." -Helen Rowland

"Marriage is an adventure, like going to war." -G. K. Chesterton

"Alimony - The ransom that the happy pay to the devil." -H.L. Mencken

"A husband's last words should always be, OK buy it." -Unknown

"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe." -Jimmy Durante

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." -Rita Rudner

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." -James Holt McGavran

"Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up." -Evelyn Hendrickson

"One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again." -Judith Viorst

"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together." -Hemant Joshi

"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her." -Agatha Christie

"My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit." -Jerry Hall

"I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night." -Marie Corelli

"Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit." -Billy Connolly

"Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse." -Arthur Baer

"Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?" -Barbra Streisand

And don't forget to subscribe to the RSS feed for The Chronicles of R to remain updated.

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry." - Rita Rudner

"Car Manufacturer's formula for a successful marriage : Stick to one model!" - Unknown

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." -Joey Adams

"What's for dinner is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the answer." -Mignon McLaughlin

"Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering." -Unknown

"Women hope men will change after marriage but they don't; men hope women won't change but they do." -Bettina Arndt

"Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you." -Helen Rowland

"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." -Henny Youngman

"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." -Katharine Hepburn

"It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married." -Robert Frost

"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him." -Oscar Wilde

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late." -Max Kauffmann

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." -Henry Youngman

My New Year's Resolutions

The dawn of a new year is just round the corner. A new year, a new beginning. Rather befitting for me since I am getting married this year and thus will begin my endeavors into a new world. A new world with a new family, my family. And with this beginning comes a few resolutions. My New Year’s resolutions.

Living a successful relationship is an art, living three successful relationships, the masterpiece. And that’s what I am planning to do successfully on this new year. The relationships that I share with my new family, my old family with my Mom and Dad and my extended family, which constitutes of my Mother-in-law, Father-in-law and my Sister-in-law. So that’s one of my New Year’s resolutions.

Career wise I would like to become more career-wise. Would love to pass the Google Adwords test this year. Been delaying for long. Would start writing content for 3rd party content providers like InstaMedia. That would get me some extra bucks other than providing me with an opportunity to sharpen my writing skills. That comes second in the list of my New Year’s resolution.

Financially, I would like to become a lot more stable than what I am today. Financial security one of the keys to a successful and happy relationship. Would try to go for some future investments. For leisure, would like to take a vacation and head over to the hills in Bhutan. Heard that it’s a nice, romantic place. Would like to see if it really lives upto its name.

Will check back at the end of next year with a checklist in my hand to know how many of these resolutions I have fulfilled. Hope you would be there with me on that day too. Till then, why don’t you tell me some of your New Year’s resolutions.

Phishing Scam: Indian Income Tax Website Hacked

Today a got a mail in my inbox saying that I got an Income Tax refund for the previous fiscal year. The email looked genuine since it came from ref-init@incometaxindia.gov.in. It contained a link which I needed to click to apply for the refund.

Nice scam they have put up this time since on clicking the link I was taken to the website http://www.burlingtonbaycafe.com! Yes ladies and gentlemen, its a new phishing scam some people have come up with. Although the email address looked genuine and gave the email an authentic look, what I failed to notice initially was that it said this email came from ref-init@incometaxindia.gov.in via http://www.eigbox.net.

Given below is the header for the email:

Delivered-To: rajtilak.bhattacharjee@gmail.com
Received: by 10.213.15.10 with SMTP id i10cs172156eba;
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To: rajtilak.bhattacharjee@gmail.com
Subject: Tax-Refund Notification..
From: Income Tax Department
Reply-To:
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Sender: Income Tax Department

Its the latest phishing scam on the internet. So please pass this to everybody you know and don't click on that link. Although the link didn't open on my laptop but you never know.

It's Christmas Season

Do you still leave cookies and milk for Santa under the tree? That's what the Christmas spirit is all about isn't it? It about faith. Faith in God, faith in life, love, happiness, friendship, forgiveness. The time of the year when you let go of all your grudges. A season to decorate, not only the Christmas tree but your life.

To be very honest with you, the Christmas season began from the beginning of December and continued till the end of January. It started with Christmas shopping, you know the usual drill, winter wear, Christmas trees, ingredients to bake cakes, Christmas cards, gifts and loads of other happiness which came in gift wraps.

We used to decorate our home with colorful ribbons, balloons, ornate the Christmas tree with stars, angels. The whole house used to remain buzzing with the aroma of freshly baked cakes. Finally waiting for the gala day.

I bet you used to believe in Santa once, didn't you? I did too, when it was actually my parents who left gifts and goodies beside my bed. I used to wake up at the middle of the night to check what have I got this year, I am a very impatient man you see. Once I ogled at everything I used to go off to sleep once again only to wake up in the morning to go to the Church.

After coming back from the Church I used to get busy with my story books or my computer, playing games. Playing Christmas Carols on the tape players, and later the computer, which was one of the things that we bought during the Christmas shopping. The fun of playing the Christmas Carols is that it takes the tiredness out of you with its cheerful melody. From Jim Reeves telling us about how he dreams of a white Christmas to Bon Jovi chasing Rudolph all over the shopping mall, it used to be amazing.

By the afternoon I used to start feeling restless for lunch, because on Christmas everything was prepared as per my culinary preferences. Being an eternal Chikeniterian (or am I am Biriyanite, its debatable you know), we used to prepare chicken curry which was served with mutton pulao, salad, a vegetable side dish (which was always duly omitted by me) and in the end another of my favorite, meetha dahi (sweet curd).

By the time it was evening, we were all exhausted. At times we visited our relatives, at times they visited us. This continued till late night and then it was all over, a year of awaiting ended in a day and thus began the wait for this Christmas day for the year to come. Well, the New Year party still remained.

A lot of things have changed since. We have become busy with our career and other engagements. And we often don't get enough time to spend for shopping, decorating our home et al. But the spirit of Christmas remains the same. Let's be jolly this Christmas season. Remember its a Ho Ho Ho season.